September 14th, 2021
Written by Desiree Visser
Dots and Stars
Max Lucado wrote a children’s story called “You are special”. It is a story about a town of wooden people, and they each carry around with them a box of grey dots and a box of golden stars. These people were individually made by the same wood maker, Eli, who lives on the hill overlooking the town, and none of them looked the same. All day long, these wooden people go around putting dots and stars on those around them – depending on how “good/acceptable” or “bad/unacceptable” they were. For all kinds of reasons, some individuals were judged as nice and others as not nice. There is a particular wooden man who comes to realise that all those stars and grey dots are meaningless because no one in the town can actually measure his value. His value is not in who he is and what he can do, but his value lies in him being created by Eli.
As we reflect on this children’s story, it is clear to see that we all engage in the same process of judging and labelling those around us. We even put labels on ourselves! And while we know it is not good to judge others, in a sense it is an instinctive process. Through experiences and interactions with others, we all seem to be covered in grey circles and stars that might not belong. Let us stop for a moment and look inside ourselves. What labels have others put on you? What have you put on yourself?
Maybe you carry the label “too emotional” or “selfish” or “perfectionist”. Maybe you hold the label “good mother” or “gentle” or “nice” – can you see how even a good label can constrict you? Make you push away the parts of you that are maybe not always nice or good? Negative labels, such as “no self-control” or “powerless” or “aggressive” also have a way of shaping how we see ourselves.
Take a moment to dive into your own box and write down a few labels that you carry.
Labels
I want to talk about one particular label that we as women all desire to hold: Beautiful.
Who calls you beautiful? More specifically, who do you want to call you beautiful?
We are often not even aware of what God sees as “Beautiful” in us. The story’s message is that we are not valuable because of anything we can do or be, we are valuable because God made us, we are His, and we are made in His image. As I reflected on this, some ideas came to mind:
It is important to realise that we can’t do these things on our own. As children of God, we need God’s grace and wisdom, which he freely gives (1 Peter 5:5), in order to please Him.
Dag Howard-Mills book “Daughter, you can!” points out that there are also some things that steal our beauty in the eyes of the Lord:
In closing, I know that only when we look for happiness in God we will truly be fulfilled. John 4: 34 states “My nourishment comes from doing the will of God, who sent me, and from finishing his work.” As mothers, wives, working women, we are constantly pouring ourselves out. It can get confusing if we are also trying to maintain all these labels (and avoid other labels!). It can get exhausting and we can feel purposeless, and even the great successes we experience do not keep us happy. Only by pouring ourselves out as an offering to God can we truly be fulfilled.
2 Timothy 4: 7 – 8 “As for me, my life has already been poured out as an offering to God. The time of my death is near. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful. And now the prize awaits me—the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on the day of his return. And the prize is not just for me but for all who eagerly look forward to his appearing.”
Max Lucado wrote a children’s story called “You are special”. It is a story about a town of wooden people, and they each carry around with them a box of grey dots and a box of golden stars. These people were individually made by the same wood maker, Eli, who lives on the hill overlooking the town, and none of them looked the same. All day long, these wooden people go around putting dots and stars on those around them – depending on how “good/acceptable” or “bad/unacceptable” they were. For all kinds of reasons, some individuals were judged as nice and others as not nice. There is a particular wooden man who comes to realise that all those stars and grey dots are meaningless because no one in the town can actually measure his value. His value is not in who he is and what he can do, but his value lies in him being created by Eli.
As we reflect on this children’s story, it is clear to see that we all engage in the same process of judging and labelling those around us. We even put labels on ourselves! And while we know it is not good to judge others, in a sense it is an instinctive process. Through experiences and interactions with others, we all seem to be covered in grey circles and stars that might not belong. Let us stop for a moment and look inside ourselves. What labels have others put on you? What have you put on yourself?
Maybe you carry the label “too emotional” or “selfish” or “perfectionist”. Maybe you hold the label “good mother” or “gentle” or “nice” – can you see how even a good label can constrict you? Make you push away the parts of you that are maybe not always nice or good? Negative labels, such as “no self-control” or “powerless” or “aggressive” also have a way of shaping how we see ourselves.
Take a moment to dive into your own box and write down a few labels that you carry.
Labels
I want to talk about one particular label that we as women all desire to hold: Beautiful.
Who calls you beautiful? More specifically, who do you want to call you beautiful?
- Some are seeking the attention, acceptance and accolades from others. To be noticed as something of value by the people around us.
- Some are seeking perfection within themselves; to be the best they can be. They set high standards and do the right thing – they want to be “good enough” not for others but for themselves.
- What if we desired to be called beautiful by God? Never mind beautiful, what about “good enough”? Enjoyed? Delighted in? Desired? Aren’t these words that our hearts long to hear?
We are often not even aware of what God sees as “Beautiful” in us. The story’s message is that we are not valuable because of anything we can do or be, we are valuable because God made us, we are His, and we are made in His image. As I reflected on this, some ideas came to mind:
- God finds our faith in Him beautiful; when we trust in Him and His Word rather than on our own abilities and wisdom.
- When our motive for serving Him comes from a place of love, rather than out of duty, it is beautiful to God.
- When we obey Jesus’ teachings, He finds pleasure in us. Ephesians 2:10 “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”
It is important to realise that we can’t do these things on our own. As children of God, we need God’s grace and wisdom, which he freely gives (1 Peter 5:5), in order to please Him.
Dag Howard-Mills book “Daughter, you can!” points out that there are also some things that steal our beauty in the eyes of the Lord:
- Being fearful
- Trusting in our own beauty. Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.”
- Holding unforgiveness in our hearts
- Pride
- Gossip
In closing, I know that only when we look for happiness in God we will truly be fulfilled. John 4: 34 states “My nourishment comes from doing the will of God, who sent me, and from finishing his work.” As mothers, wives, working women, we are constantly pouring ourselves out. It can get confusing if we are also trying to maintain all these labels (and avoid other labels!). It can get exhausting and we can feel purposeless, and even the great successes we experience do not keep us happy. Only by pouring ourselves out as an offering to God can we truly be fulfilled.
2 Timothy 4: 7 – 8 “As for me, my life has already been poured out as an offering to God. The time of my death is near. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful. And now the prize awaits me—the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on the day of his return. And the prize is not just for me but for all who eagerly look forward to his appearing.”
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